Arranged Marriage is NOT What You Think

A handful of people swear that they would never get arranged. But I’d argue that arranged marriage is completely different than what it was traditionally known as, especially in the west. Nobody is forcing anybody to marry someone that they don’t want to anymore (at least I hope not). The concept of arranged marriage went from little to no autonomy to basically complete autonomy. The great thing about this development is that you’re able to feel out the other person to see if it would be a good match (don’t take that the wrong way).

I actually think that this is pretty cool. The fun in marriage comes from discovering new things about your opposite every day. What’s the fun in marriage if you’ve already dated that person for years before you were married? I’m of the opinion that you only really need to have a few conversations to determine whether someone would be a good match. You don’t need to be with anyone for a significant amount of years to see whether they would be a good fit as a life partner.

Advertisements
Arranged Marriage is NOT What You Think

“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.” – Ellen Goodman

Don’t Post Your Grades on Instagram

It’s that time of the year again. It’s around the time when everybody is either finishing up with exams or getting their grades back. I might be the sole exception because my school does not believe in getting grades back to students until at least two and a half months after exams.

Something funny I notice around this time of year is people uploading their semester’s grade reports on to Instagram. I have a lot to say about this. However, I know that nobody likes rambling, so I will try to keep it short.

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS??? What are they trying to show? Nothing about this makes sense to me. Not to down-play good grades, it’s cool and whatever. And, I’m sure your parents are happy. But, are they trying to show off? Clearly, that doesn’t work because not only am I left unimpressed, I now think that the uploader is a jerk . Straight A’s in gen ed classes doesn’t mean crap. Further, straight A’s at Nova doesn’t mean crap if you majored in legal studies and business administration. How can I say this? I can say this because those were my majors. Not implying that I’m smart at all or anything, because I submit to you that I am nowhere near smart. It’s just that some programs are really hard to score below A-‘s in with minimal effort. Some majors are absolutely dummy proof and designed to allow students to do well. This actually plays a big part of the reason why I don’t agree with the American education system. In fact, if I could go back, I probably would have never went to college. But that is another post for another time. Right now we are talking about people that upload grades to social media.

If you went out of your way to post screenshots of your unofficial transcript to instagram or took pictures of dean’s list certificates and uploaded it to social media, I don’t think you’re smart. Actually, to me, you seem even more incompetent. Even worse … arrogant. Perhaps it’s not you that is smart, but it’s just the fact that your program is just that simple. So you really have nothing to brag about. And the fact that you are trying really hard to showcase something that is so easy to attain, you come off as a total kamina. Don’t give me the excuse that you are just trying to inspire people. The excuse that you are really just so proud of yourself does not fly either.

Even if you were to go to a decent school, you’d still come off as a kutha if you posted your grades on social media. I would go so far as to argue that even being at the top of your class in a decent law school is nothing to brag about. Anybody can do well in school. School is a game and it’s not just about who is the smartest anymore. It’s about who plays the game the best. School is not a good indicator of how you will fair in real life. Your success in school should be kept to yourself. Humble yourself. You haven’t accomplished much yet so you have nothing to brag about. There are many people that are smarter than you who probably didn’t get the same type of grades you got. Maybe their courses are on a curve. Or maybe your courses or professors just give too many people grades that they don’t deserve. Just think twice before posting your grades. It does say more about you than you may think.

THERE IS ONE EXCEPTION. 

LinkedIn. Used LinkedIn to brag all you want about how well you did in school. It could land you a job. Recruiters take LinkedIn profiles seriously.

Outside of LinkedIn, just keep those grades to yourself. Or if your mom and dad are really proud of you, the refrigerator (at the very most).

Don’t Post Your Grades on Instagram

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

I’ve been wondering about friendships. In analyzing the groups of friends I associate myself with, I’ve become interested in an observation I made. I try to find justification for keeping each one of my friends around. It’s not that I think that I’m too good for anyone; trust me, I don’t think that way … It’s that for someone to be in my life, I want there to be a reason for having them around. This doesn’t mean that I want them to be a means to my end, it means that there has to be something more than an acquaintanceship. If I’m investing my time and effort on someone, I want the return of the enjoyment of their company for as long as possible.

In what I’ve been thinking about, I’ve come to realize that I don’t have very many female friends. You might think that my justification for this is religious, but that’s not the case at all.

Allow me to explain.

In picking my friends, I strive to create a relationship that I expect to last eternally. You just don’t go out looking for temporary friends. However, that’s what I feel like friendships with the opposite gender essentially are. For the most part, I think that this is the case. I hate to sound like I’m generalizing, but tell me this isn’t true . . . you probably had a friend of the opposite gender who you were close to at one point (I’m not saying that you were “into” each other, or even that you were platonic, I’m referring to just a “friendship”). If that person has gotten married, has the relationship between you and that friend changed at all? I’m guessing that you are not as close to that person as you once were. Could you even call them a friend anymore? I think the correct term would be an “acquaintance” because that is what your friendship now amounts to.

The truth is that people change after marriage. In that change, their attitudes towards their old friends of the opposite gender also changes. I’m not saying that this is the case with everybody, but I think that this is probably the default. I don’t know why this is the case … and I wish it weren’t the case, but now I’m pretty firm in my belief that this is the case. I guess it makes sense to an extent, people get married and the only person of the opposite gender that they really need to concern themselves with is their significant other. But then that makes me wonder … what were you expecting from our friendship in the first place? Were you only concerning yourself with people of the opposite gender because you were single? Was it really a friendship in the first place? I just like to wonder what was going through your head when we were friends? I know people who unfollowed EVERY person of the opposite gender that they ever knew from every social media platform after they got married or engaged. I’m not trying to argue whether this is the best practice or not, that’s not for me to judge (not that you care, but, I think that’s pretty ridiculous).

So taking everything I discussed above into consideration, I now go back to my point about investing in friendships that I expect a return from. The “return” I expect is the pleasure and joy of one’s company for as long as possible. Considering my observation about about people changing their attitudes towards people of the opposite gender after marriage, I never felt the need to invest in friendship with females if I could already see the end result in my head. But then again, not to say that every female stops talking to you after marriage, I’m just saying that it’s hard to predict if they will. Same goes for guys. I rather invest my time and effort in friends who I know will be there for as long as possible. I don’t want friendships that only last until marriage.

But to each their own. You have your opinions, I have mine.

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

What Justifies Your Public Obsession?

I think I may have finally figured it out. I now know why people thirst over celebrities’ looks and attractiveness in the way that they do. Let me first say that I’m not free from blame here. I’m guilty as well. In admitting my guilt, I am able to see why this is the case. Let me explain.

Let’s be honest. . . there are millions of people on this Earth that are better looking than any given celebrity (especially when you take the make-up off). Getting away from looks a bit, there are a billion other people on this earth who might have a better personality. I’ve come to understand that It’s not fame that makes a celebrity more “attractive” to the average person, like us. It’s the fact that they are extremely unattainable that makes it okay for everyone else to obsess over them. Feel what I’m saying? You can tweet obsessive tweets and post obsessive Instagram MCM and WCW pictures about this person but the chances that they will ever see it are slim to none. Further, the chances of you actually ever meeting that famous person are even more obsolete. If you ever do come across them, you will know that they have never seen your creepy comments or posts about them, or they probably would not remember it if they somehow saw it. This makes the thirst all okay! It’s become customary and accepted practice to thirst over that person, and it’s not considered creepy! How wonderful is that? These celebrities are put in place for us to have someone we can aim our thirst on. We all know in the back of our heads that we probably personally know someone much more attainable and realistic and probably much more attractive looks-wise and personality wise. But we’re completely afraid to express our obsession of the average person in public as we do with these famous people. It’s safe to say that expressing your thirst over the average joe is not socially acceptable and you’re a creep if you do. Why is that?

Let’s be real, you can’t tell me that there is not a non-famous girl out there better looking than Selena Gomez. As Selena Gomez’s biggest fan, I would be the first to tell you that you are a complete idiot if you think otherwise. In a world of 7 billion people, there HAS to be at least one. In the words of J. Cole, “always gon’ be a bitch that’s badder out there”. So next time you are in the process of drafting a thirsty tweet obsessing over a famous person, think to yourself … why? I’ll try to do the same.

What Justifies Your Public Obsession?

Get Your Shit Together, America.

This one will be short and I’ll dumb it down. I’m not trying to sound smart or act like I know politics, as everyone claims to nowadays. I did learn a thing or two about presidential powers in school. So I think I’m a little more educated about this stuff than the lay person. Or maybe not … but I’d like to think that $49,500 in yearly tuition could at least amount to me learning about what the president does. But I’ll go ahead and act like I know nothing in fear of looking stupid and saying something wrong.

I could be basic and make a long Facebook post, but I’ve decided to say it here because people actually read this shit for some strange reason. I’d like to make it clear that I don’t know who I want as President. At this point, I’m deciding between the lesser of all evils. I don’t have a party affiliation, I am neither a democrat nor a republican and no candidate in particular appeals to me this election year. What a shame.

In the midst of all the uncertainty, there is one thing I do know. So here’s what I know. . . the jokes over. It has truly gone on for far too long. Can we stop pretending to support Donald Trump? Seriously! I’m fully under the impression that this is all one long running gag. It’s time to take the presidential race seriously again. We have successfully made ourselves look like fools in the eyes of the world. We have lost the little respect that we’ve had left. He’s leading polls running as a Republican … GOP, you may not even have a candidate in the race this year. I can go on and on, honestly. I can give you an information dump and sound really smart. But I won’t. This post isn’t even intending to be funny or persuasive. Just a friendly reminder …

Get your shit together, America.

Get Your Shit Together, America.

The Instagram Comment Paradox

*what you are about to read, do not try this at home

There’s one thing that is totally weird to me. I just don’t understand it. It’s the biggest double standard known to mankind . . . and no, I am not exaggerating. If a girl does it, it’s perfectly okay. Actually, I’ll go further! It’s more than okay, it’s actually encouraged. It’s so encouraged to the point that if a girl doesn’t do it, it’s probably wrong. On the other hand, if a guy tries it, he’s the devil. If he even thinks about it, he’s labeled by society as a “thirsty pervert”. I’m being vague again. If you haven’t realized by now, it’s just my style of writing. Starting out vague and then being specific. But what on earth am I talking about? This scenario can apply to a whole array of things, right? You probably see it all the time, but you don’t think twice about it, it’s just that okay in our world.

Let me set the scene. Pretend you’re me, you’re Haseeb for a second. Lucky you. You’re one of the greatest humans to ever walk this earth. Congratulations! Remember, you’re a boy. Just pretend to be one, if you already aren’t. If you’re already a boy, pretend to be a man. You open up the Instagram app on your phone. ASTAGHFIRULLAH! Leena Sayed and Taz’s Angels are looking great. Masha Allah. You nod your head in appreciation as you scroll down to the next picture. Okay, you see a few pictures of quotes and shit. You scroll even further down. A picture of one of your “boys” falls into your gaze. It’s a picture of him standing in front of his car. The comments in his picture seem legit. You read that some of them say “nice bro”; “digging the whip”; “asshole”. You also notice one comment by a girl saying “cool car”. You feel that it’s a dry comment, but whatever. Fair enough, you would expect to see comments like that. That’s just the type of comments that a picture of that nature warrants. You nod your head in agreement and scroll down even further.

Now things get interesting. You see a friend of yours, who is also a human being of the opposite gender, also known as a female. You are friends with her, but just that … “friends”. It’s one of those pictures that society calls a “selfie”. COOL. It’s actually not that impressive. It’s just a picture of her sitting in the driver seat of her Honda Civic with a camera pointed at her face. There is one interesting thing about this picture. It is consumed in a light. This is not the type of light that they call a “noor”. You know what a noor is… that light you get on your face when you pray a lot, or something. I never had one, so I can’t explain it too much. The light on this girl’s face is a light of a source called the “sun”. It is clear to you that she went out of her way to find a spot where the sun would hit her face in such a way to allow a photo to be taken with perfection. As a matter of fact, you can’t point out a SINGLE blemish on her face. Further, you can’t even point out where her nose is. Her nose just does not exist on that picture. Ok, enough about the picture. That’s not what this post is about. Rather, this post is about the comments. You scroll down beneath the picture to see what people have to say about it. You see that her caption says “all-natural”, you know that this is so far from the truth, but you are able to look past that and forgive her for it. The single most interesting thing about this picture is the comments. A total of 112 likes and 15 comments. You open the expanded view of the comments section and notice something interesting. All girls. All saying THE SAME EXACT THING USING DIFFERENT WORDS AND DIFFERENT EMOJIS. “SOOO GORGEOUS”; “MARRY ME”; “LOVE”; “SO HOT”; “MY GF”. You think to yourself: “why is it okay that girls are saying this?” So, you decide to conduct a social experiment. You decide to join those 15 girls who commented. You decide to comment something similar to the above comments. The reaction people have to the comment that you just posted is beyond anything that you could have ever fathomed.

Congrats! You are now a perverted, deviant, weirdo, degenerate, lowlife freak. How could you have posted that on her picture? Do you not know that society functions on such a double standard? I mean, it only makes sense for society to function this way. In a world where we shun gay people. It’s perfectly fine for girls to comment homosexual comments on another girl’s picture. But when a guy does it, even in much lesser of a form than that of the homosexual variety, he is a demon stalker.

I’m not writing this post in an attempt to alter the status quo. In fact, I think that it should stay the way it is. The purpose of this post was to point out the entertaining comments that girls get on their pictures and the fact that if a guy had posted the same type of comment, he would face the repercussions of a horrible label. Society accepts homosexuality when it wants to and accepts heterosexuality when it wants to. The situation just has to be fitting. Well, I don’t know what the point I’m trying to make is anymore. It’s just funny to me, that’s all.

 

The Instagram Comment Paradox